Fetlife Review

Written by dating expert Jennifer Carter.
Last updated: February 18, 2021

The Fetlife website was created in 2008 as a social networking platform for people who want to fulfill their BDSM, kinky, and fetish fantasies online. No matter what you have dreamed of experiencing with an intimate partner, you are likely to find it on Fetlife.

Fetlife is a community that operates like Facebook. The premise is to follow groups and people that spark your interest. Doing so will alert you to opportunities to connect in person at Fetlife events or online.

This FetLife review will provide you with everything you need to know about how to use FetLife and what to expect from the experience. You will be amazed at the opportunities available to fulfill your greatest fantasy on the Fetlife app or website.

  • Has something to offer everyone
  • Diverse options for intimate connections with others
  • Affordable
  • Easy to use
  • Free to sign up
  • No verification processes
  • More male members than female

Member Information


The FetLife website is an adult playground that encourages sexual exploration and discovery. As this site is not considered a dating site but a social networking platform for the frisky type, very little information is provided about individual members on the Fetlife app or website. The reason for this is that the site was created as a place where those with like-minded interests could mingle, gather locally for social events, or connect online for a kinky good time. While there are many risqué type groups and experiences available through the Fetlife website, it is important to note that this is not a resource for those seeking an escort service.

Sign Up Process


The sign-up process is easy and consists of a few demographic questions. It is important to note that there is no FetLife verification text upon registration. In fact, Fetlife does not require any verification to acquire membership.

sign-up process FetLife

After you complete the demographic questionnaire, you will be prompted to answer some questions about your preferences when it comes to intimate relationships. There is an abundance of options to choose from, making this community inclusive of all interests. At this time, you are only able to make one choice. You will likely be interested in more than one option, but you should select your top preference.

top preference FetLife

While the sign-up process is quick, easy, and painless, the FetLife website is quite basic and does not provide an aesthetic experience like other websites.

Contacting People


If you expect that the Fetlife website operates like other dating websites, you might find that contacting people is a bit challenging. Since the creators wanted Fetlife to be a social networking platform for BDSM, fetish, and kinky communities, creating a way to contact people via traditional methods was not a priority. Instead, members are able to ‘follow’ another member who piques their interest. By following a person, you will have the ability to see their photos, videos, writings, and other published content. You will also be alerted when the member has posted new content to the site.

Fetlife website

Another way to connect with members is by browsing the event page. You can search for events all over the world. Many cities consistently have Fetlife events happening every month, which makes it quite easy to play out your fantasies in public.

Fetlife events happening every month

Another way to connect with people is by joining popular groups. There are so many groups to choose from based on interests, topics, type of fetish, sexual preferences, and a plethora of others. It is easy to get lost in all the options that Fetlife has to offer the kinky community.

At this time, it is not possible to search for members based on demographic information and send messages. The reason for this is that it preserves anonymity and makes finding a specific person challenging.



The profile information displayed is minimal. Members with a profile photo have significantly more fun through interactions with others than those who do not include a photo. You can upload a photo as an avatar. The only information that is shared publicly from your profile is your avatar, username, geographical location, and age. Any other demographic information that you disclosed during the sign-up process is not shared on the website.

profile information Fetlife

While the profile does not provide a great deal of information, you have an opportunity to get to know people through discussion boards, blog posts, photographs, and videos posted on the Fetlife website.

It can be helpful to browse the website before you choose which photo to post as your profile picture. Many members choose to post a profile photo that coincides with their interests. For example, if you have an interest in cosplay, you may consider uploading a profile photo of you dressed up in your favorite costume.

Mobile App


The FetLife app is available on Android and is easy to install and use. It is important to keep in mind that the Fetlife app is considered an open-source product. This means that anyone can have access to the software platform, which may cause security concerns. Your phone must utilize the Android 4.0.3 operating system or newer for the Fetlife app to function properly.

FetLife app

Many choose to use the mobile app over the desktop version as there are some unique features available there. For example, the Fetlife app for Android allows you to view information on the site in ‘discreet’ mode. This mode allows you the ability to receive notifications on your phone but from an alias so that people are unable to see that you are using the Fetlife app. The app also allows you to locate members who are near your location so that you can propose an impromptu meetup.

At this time, Android is the only operating system that supports the Fetlife app. IOS is not compatible but may be in the future.

Membership Options


The Fetlife website is unique in that it functions very much in social networking capacity (like Facebook) and is not considered a dating website. The Fetlife website offers a basic design and does not include a great deal of content outside of member created discussions, blog posts, photos, and events. Because it does not operate with the same aesthetically pleasing content or award-winning compatibility quizzes utilized by other websites, the operating costs are relatively low.

Many ask the question, “Is FetLife free?” The FetLife cost is free but members can make monthly donations. By doing so, members can gain access to additional features.

Fetlife website is unique

Other than making monthly donations, Fetlife does not offer membership tiers. The monthly donation fees cover the website operations, customer service, and backend functions that make the site run. The donation is $5 per month and can be paid all at once and through a variety of payment methods. Fetlife accepts bank transfer, credit cards, direct debit, Bitcoin, paysafecard, and Giropay. If you pay via bank transfer, credit card, or direct debit, Fetlife will refund your donation within 7 days if you are not completely satisfied.

After making a donation, you have the option of having a member badge shown on your profile photo. Some choose to keep the badge on their profile photo, while others choose to hide it by opting out in account settings.

In addition to a ‘sexy membership badge,” your donation will allow you access to benefits such as the ability to view the daily most loved photos and videos, see your past friend feed, and see more content than those with a free membership.

Fetlife is affordable, inclusive, and provides access to a unique sexually charged platform for people from all walks of life.

The Bottom Line

The FetLife website is a social networking community that is inclusive of all types of people. Tailored towards those who enjoy the BDSM, kinky, and fetish lifestyles, Fetlife offers an affordable platform for people to connect through discussions, local events, blog posts, videos, and photographs. For those who are seeking an opportunity to experience something a bit taboo, out of the ordinary, or risqué, Fetlife is a great place to go!

However, if you are seeking a monogamous, serious, committed relationship, the Fetlife community is not considered a dating website and is not used in that manner. Therefore, it would be in your best interest to seek a different online resource geared towards fulfilling those desires.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Fetlife safe?

Fetlife encrypts the information that is stored on the website, and any content that is deleted from the site is also eliminated from servers. The Fetlife team also monitors for scams and fraudulent activity on the website; however, if you see something, it is best to say something. Report unsavory activity to Fetlife customer service no matter how egregious.

What does ‘Perv’ mean on Fetlife?

Perv is terminology used on Fetlife that means that you have checked out, viewed, or saw something of interest.

What type of fantasies are not allowed on Fetlife?

Fetlife allows members to be naughty and adventurous, but some fantasies are not permitted. Any activities involving incest, pedophilia, zoophilia, animal cruelty, scat, or necrophilia are prohibited.

I want to know how to search on FetLife

Because the Fetlife website was created as a social networking platform instead of a dating site, searching for people by age, sex, and other demographic parameters is not possible. The best way to have a good time on Fetlife is to get involved in discussions, attend local events, and check out pictures throughout the site.

Can you tell me how to create an event on FetLife?

Creating an event on Fetlife is quite easy. Fill out the online document which outlines the parameters of the event. Before you schedule your event, it is important to have the details figured out. Should you want to keep your event private, you can do so. If you want to make your event public, you can provide directions by posting a Google map on the event page. Should the event change, a performer can’t make it, or a venue has closed, you can easily delete your event by going to the ‘Edit Event’ page and clicking ‘Delete Event.’ The event will be deleted from the Fetlife website and everyone who RSVP’d to the event will be notified via email that the event has been canceled.

How to delete FetLife account

Deleting your account from the Fetlife website is an easy process and takes just a few seconds. To delete your account, click on the site menu in the upper right corner of the website. Then click on ‘Update Settings’ in the menu. On the right side, you will see an option to delete or deactivate your account. Determine which action you want to take and select it. You will need to verify this action by typing in your account password.

Once your account has been set for deletion, you will have 7 days to change your mind. During those 7 days, your account will no longer be visible on the Fetlife website, but it will be in a queue for deletion. You can reactivate your account if the 7 days have not passed. If the 7 days have come and gone, you must create a new account.

What is the FetLife phone number?

Fetlife is based out of Canada and operates with a fully remote team. The phone number to the Fetlife headquarters is listed as (833) 248-5683.

Is FetLife gay-friendly?

Yes. The Fetlife gay community is robust and is always welcoming new members. No matter what your sexual preference is or your sexual orientation, the Fetlife gay community is open to anyone.

Can my Fetlife membership be renewed automatically?

No. Unlike other websites where you are automatically signed up for auto-renewal services, Fetlife requires that you make a manual donation.

Can I delete photos and videos on Fetlife?

You have the ability to delete photos and videos that you upload to Fetlife. Click on the item that you want to discard, and removal instructions will appear. Content is also removed from Fetlife servers at the same time.